The Sun Is Out

After a week of rainy, cloudy weather the sun is out again today and my mood has improved out of sight for the first time this week.  Maybe it's in direct relation to the weather, I don't know.

I love my FB groups, they are often my rock, but there are a few of people in one of them that are heading toward their first bodybuilding comp and I am finding that it is really messing with my head.  I guess it would be fair to say that the green-eyed monster has come out as they post various pictures of their physiques.  I was starting to feel like a fraud because, as a former competitor, I don't have the body of one; my abs aren't showing and I have fat on my butt and thighs.  It wasn't until I got into a conversation with last round's winner of the 12wbt did I realise (AGAIN!) that I need to focus less on the outer appearances.  As I may have said in a previous post, she had goals that were based on performance, not appearance, and what she achieved was pretty awesome.  It is difficult, though, when I am being bombarded with images of people prepping for comps and the subsequent comments saying how inspiring they are but these issues are about me and my own lack of self-esteem.  The thing is I'm fairly happy with how I'm going (most of the time) and I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with regard to my strength training.  I need to focus on that.