Conquering Fears

Or at least I'm trying to.

As I have said in the past, the thing I struggle with most at CF is the dreaded box jump.  It comes up so often in our workouts and I have had enough of having to modify my training due to the fact that I'm afraid of hurting myself.  I don't believe I have that explosive power required to jump and if I don't believe in myself of course it will never happen.  I spent Sunday afternoon practicing on my step which is 6".  I started with my usual 1-2 skip ... it's like there's a part in my brain that says if I leave one foot down, if I trip I will be okay .... eventually I was jumping with 2 feet together.  I then moved to a step outside which is 8", again starting with the skipping motion but getting to the point of jumping properly.  Right-o, I had made a start to getting over this fear.

Monday is Crossfit day.  I checked the WOD and it consisted of 7 x 5 sumo deadlift high pulls and then seated box jumps.  This is where you start sitting on a box and then jump onto another box.  The fact that you are sitting gives you more power and the ability to jump higher.  I was nervous but felt like I need to start to deal with this.

I started to chicken out as soon as I saw the 20" box come out and, thankfully, there is another girl who does step ups.  I thought I was the only one there who couldn't jump!  We asked what we could do instead.  Sean, the head coach, asked both of us if we were interested in using today as a confidence building exercise and use the plate weights to start off.  The other girl wasn't so sure but I was pretty keen ... today was the day to do this!  We stacked a couple of 25 kg plates and jumped on those.  I think it was about the same height as I was doing at home and I landed them. J (my box jump partner) stacked another and I did the old skippy thing I do ... I just couldn't get both feet to move at once.  She aced it and added more while I stuck to the lower height.  It's funny as we were discussing it and she is afraid of the box so jumping the height isn't an issue whereas I'm afraid of the height ... it doesn't matter what I'm jumping onto.

As we were jumping onto our little weights I was watching the others jumping onto their boxes stacked with weights as well.  Some of the girls were jumping well over 30" and here's me struggling to jump a few weights.  I felt like such a numpty and have to admit I went home feeling a little deflated.

I have to take note of the advice I give to my kids and remember that I will only get better with practice and if I have to take it really slowly to build my confidence then so be it.  Next time box jumps come up I will see if I can do them with the stacked weights again because I am not going to improve while I continue to do step ups and I will try and fit in some practice a couple of times a week.  I'm not going to let it beat me!