Driving Force

Last night I was at the gym. I had just finished Tabata bike intervals as well as some ab work and was ending the session with 2 minute:1 minute intervals on the elliptical. The last 30 seconds before recovery is always the hardest and that's when the mental struggle starts. I started to think about how the comp was my driving force. The fear of failure was what pushed me through those tough workouts. There was no way I was going to get onto the stage underdone and I would imagine the fat melting from my body. Now the comp is done and dusted what is going to push me when it gets tough. I have no immediate goals, part of me was saying that it doesn't really matter if I stopped, nobody needs to know. Did I pull the pin with 30 seconds to go? No I didn't - so what's driving me now? Even though I'm trying to gain weight I don't want it to be 5 kg of fat so its important to still train hard and try to keep my fat percentage in a healthy range and build some serious muscle. It will make it so much easier for my next comp. Plus I love the feeling after a tough workout, there is a sense of accomplishment. If I don't finish my workout I feel as though I've let myself down. Some days are tougher and there are those days where I give up but most days I can grit my teeth and push on.