Baby Steps

I've made teeny tiny steps forward in some areas.

I bought a 20" foam plyometric box for home and have been practicing on that most days.  I can jump on it while holding onto Mal's hands and I feel like I'm getting a little bit better everyday.  The problem is it has wound up my back a little so I'm having to roll out and stretch more than normal.  My massage therapist noticed that my left side is significantly more developed than my right which explains why I jump with my right foot first, it is also my right side that is tight this week.  Could it be the muscles in my hips and back playing catch up because I'm forcing that side to work harder?



Willing my little legs to jump on this thing!

The other thing has been my handstands.  I haven't been working on them at all despite entering a challenge with some other people to work on them daily.  I will spend more time on them once I figure out my box jumps ... one thing at a time.

Today we did handstands at the gym and despite every fibre of my being telling me to not show up and once I was there I wanted to go home.  There was myself and another guy who couldn't kick up into a handstand, both of us having the same fears.  It was kind of nice to have someone in the same boat as me because most of the time I'm the only one who can't handstand.  Anyway, Jardan worked with us to overcome the fear of being upside down.  It felt great to be in safe hands, knowing that there was a guy on either side of me.  I got more comfortable with being in the handstand and I hope my kickup was a little stronger (I barely get off the ground).  The hard bit for me is that I feel like I'm totally upside down where I'm still a little way off the wall and when my feet were actually against the wall my body felt like it was hyperextended.  I think this will be something that I will need to practice to get used to the body position.

Even though I'm getting frustrated with not moving as fast as I would like, any progress is better than no progress.

Nancy

Today was Nancy which is:

 

Nancy, 5 rounds for Time:

400m Run

15 OHS 42.5/30kg

 

As we all know, overhead squats and me don't mix well.  That aside, I was really happy with this workout today.  When I reflect to where I was not that long ago with my back injury where I could barely overhead squat a 10kg bar, I'm stoked that I was able to perform this movement 75 times using the 15 kg bar.

 

The last time I did this I modified the OHS for back squats.

 

Date	OHS	Time
28/04/2015	30 (back squat)	20:30
2/11/2015	15	18:40

 

 

Skills Workshop

Today we had a skills workshop.  The focus was on gymnastics movements like handstands, toes to bar, pull ups and muscle ups.  I had a busy day of running around which meant I had to have everything packed ready to go and unfortunately I was a little late for the workshop ... it also meant that I forgot my shoes so went barefoot.

Our first drill was handstands.  My first panic attack.  After working on hand and body positions we then got into a team of 3 and kick up into a handstand.  My partners grabbed my legs and held me in position.  I did it!

We then were placed into 3 groups to play around with handstand push ups.  I was put into a team that worked on kicking up against the wall.  This part was a little rushed and I didn't get a chance to actually kick up.

The next handstand drill was to practice handstand walks which included shifting from hand to hand whilst in the pike position on a box, wheelbarrow walks and "handstand walking" in the pike around the box.

From there we moved into toes to bar and it was good to really work on my positioning in the hollow rock and superman position.  I didn't get to do any toes to bar but I feel like I need to strengthen my kip and it felt good today.

Pull ups were next.  We had a choice of working toward our kip or butterfly.  A few of the girls went to learn the butterfly but I felt like I need to work on perfecting my kip.  Again my kip felt pretty good but I find it hard to string my pull ups together.  I decided to work on strong body positions rather than trying to string together multiple reps but with sloppy form.

We then moved onto muscle ups.  The focus was our false grip.  Strangely enough I was kind of okay at this but I need to work on pulling myself up higher in the pull up.  It was fun despite my wrists being rubbed raw.

We finished with an 8 minute AMRAP of 2 wall walks, 4 burpee pull ups, 8 candlestick to broad jump and 10 m bear crawls.  Cue my second panic attack.  I can't jump up to the bar for the burpee pull ups ... I wish I could.  I don't know why this freaks me out but it does ... I did burpee bar touch instead.

Overall it was a great workshop and it has helped me get some mojo back by giving me some goals to work toward.  It's time to work toward getting those handstands once and for all.  I came home and practiced my kick up some more plus did some headstands to get used to being upside down.  Hubby has been enlisted to help me out.  Here's hoping I can get it sorted by the end of the year.

Sigh ...

Today was an overhead squat day with a rowing finisher.  Really?  Two movements that I suck at the most together.  Bugga!

My back and hips have been really tight since 'Linda' last week so I wasn't holding much hope for my OHS today.  I had a plan of where I wanted to get to but I wasn't feeling confident which was a good thing because I fell way short of my goal weight.  Despite feeling a little frustrated overall I feel okay.  I asked Jardan to watch to see if I hit depth and corrected it which is a step forward with regard to my technique.  I attempted 22.5 kg which is a weight I did a few weeks ago but just couldn't get depth.  The difference is the last time was on a Thursday afternoon after spending 40 - 45 minutes on mobility before the lesson and this morning I did the warm up and rolled in between sets when I should have been doing a plank hold.  I know I need to work on my mobility if I'm going to attempt these movements and I need to do it every day.  If I have an early class I should be doing stretching and rolling the night before.

Yes!

Last night I went into the gym to practice a few things for the competition.  I was concerned about the bar facing burpees and it feels like forever since I have done any unassisted pull ups. 

I can't believe how many people were there yesterday afternoon and they were doing their own thing.  I just wanted a little corner to myself where no-one was watching what I was doing but unfortunately that wasn't going to happen.  I procrastinated quite a bit by doing mobility and chatting.  I set up a bar which was then needed for the class.  I then went outside where someone else had a bar set up and just jumped over it.  It was easy!  I don't get why I had a problem with it.

I practiced my pull ups and they felt good too.  I'm glad that I went in yesterday as it has really helped my confidence going into the competition ... now to just get well.

That Feels Better!

I haven't been sleeping well lately.  I find it hard to wind down and switch my brain off and often lie there looking at the clock for a long time after settling in for the night.  The result is me becoming a little cray-cray.

I didn't do the Crossfit class yesterday and went to Mobility instead.  Like everything I have to choose between either mobility or crossfit, I can't do both unless I get up at stupid o'clock and do the 5 am class.  I went onto the FB page and looked at the scores for the class and noticed everyone had at least something for the handstand hold or handstand walk part of the WOD.  That sent me spiralling into beat up mode.  Thoughts of "I suck because I can't even kick up into a handstand" and "I don't know why I keep showing up because I'm not showing any progress whatsoever."  I wish I could keep the negativity at bay.  I wish I could do handstands and box jumps and other stuff that people take for granted so I wouldn't get so down on myself all the time.  I wish I had more time in my day to work on my weaknesses.  I wish ... I wish ...

I decided at that point that I needed to take myself off to bed.  I was like an overtired toddler ... having a tantrum because I needed sleep but at the same time I have been fighting sleep all week.

I had about 9 hours sleep and feel so much better for it.  I skipped into Crossfit this morning, ready to attack the workout, not dreading it like I had been last night (it had sprints in it).  I've also taken the day off work which I think is helping with my attitude today as well.

Meh!

Today was a frustrating day at the box.  Split jerks were programmed in again as a barbell complex of squat clean, front squat, push press and split jerk.  I tend to shorten my split when I start increasing the weight so I stuck with just the bar after a piss poor attempt at 25 kg.  My goal for today is to not look at the scores tonight as my total scores was pathetic and I know that it will make me depressed to look at it.

I know I shouldn't compare but I also know that I'm stronger than some of the girls at the gym but my Oly lifting is worse because my movement is off.  I rely on my strength to get me through but that only gets me so far and as a result I'm lagging behind everyone at the gym.  Anyway, I'll keep chipping away, posting crappy scores and hopefully at some point my body and head will connect and I'll improve but sometimes that seems like it's a lifetime away.

Juggling

I have had a couple of Crossfit sessions off over the last few days.  I had increased my exercise last week to accomodate the weightlifting classes but ended the week with a tired, aching body.  The girls had a dancing workshop on the weekend which meant I had to give the ladies class a miss.  I wanted to do the 7 am class but my body needed to sleep.  Instead I dragged my hubby along to pilates.

I'm so proud of him giving pilates a go.  He was very nervous before the class and I could see he was struggling with a few of the movements (we all were!) but he stuck with it and at the end he commented that he felt pretty good and one move in particular really freed up his shoulders.

I woke up this morning ready to go to Crossfit and decided to give it a miss. I feel like the girls are going to go back to school next week and we will be back into the swing of netball, dancing and cello and I'll be worn out from burning the candle at both ends over the last couple of weeks.  I know I can't maintain a hectic pace of Crossfit, walking the dog and weightlifting as well as maintaining a household and I don't want to fall in a heap because I have burnt myself out.  Crossfit will take the backseat while I focus on these weightlifting classes this week.

On another note, I have 2 weeks before competing in our local crossfit team competition.  Some of the movement standards have been released and it caused a little meltdown on my behalf.  There will be bar facing burpees in amongst it.  I did the 14.5 WOD and got away with jumping over the end of the bar (which is slightly higher than the middle of the bar due to its thickness) but I doubt I will be able to do that for this competition.  I was in tears when I saw it because I don't want to let down my teammates.  I have been practicing my jumping at home and I know I can jump over the bar.  I have just under 2 weeks to get more comfortable with the movement ... I can do it!

Poor Mossy

He hasn't been getting walked much lately.  I always find it hard in winter because I would rather stay snuggled up in bed rather than out trudging the streets.  I need to just suck it up and drag my lazy arse out of bed on the days I take him in the mornings.

I skipped the gym last night as I had forgotten that Missy T needed to get picked up from ballet early.  Instead I worked on my weaknesses at home.  I have bought myself a box to practice box jumps and am slowly building my confidence.  I am standing on an aerobic step and then jumping onto the box and lowering the height as I gain confidence.  I am also working on my lateral jumping and started with the barbell on the ground and gradually adding height.  I'm finding I'm improving quite quickly with this.  It worries me that these sort of things may come up in the comp that I'm doing next month or when the Open starts up again next year.  It is both frustrating and depressing that I struggle so much with these sort of movements but I know I'll get there.  My problem is that when I try to progress too quickly I then lose confidence when I baulk at the box or barbell and then I have to start again from the beginning.  If I try to do it most days and take it slowly I will actually progress faster than I have been.

Working On Weaknesses

Today is overhead squat day.  My overhead squat is appalling hence why I'm looking forward to going this afternoon ... it gives me a chance to work on my weakness.  During the Open workouts I failed my 30 kg OHS and I have to admit I'm still smarting a little over it because I could have done the pull up portion of the WOD.  The beauty of this failure is that it gives me something to strive for ... a number to head towards.  I WANT that 30 kg OHS!  I also believe that by improving my OHS it will then flow onto my squat snatch.

Talking of weaknesses, I have sporadically been working on getting inverted as well as box jumps.  I purchased a box for home with the goal of practicing a little each day.  Life has a tendency of getting in the way and I have been a little hit and miss with my routine.  Likewise with my handstand practice but I'm happy to report that I'm holding a headstand for a reasonable length of time.  Overall, I'm making baby steps towards these 2 goals.

What the???

As I said yesterday I have been working on a few things at home.  I'm practicing my wall walks as well as my jumping.  We have a small retaining wall which is 16" height at the back of our house leading to some stairs and I have been practicing my box jumps on that as I can hold onto the railing while I'm doing it.  I am making some progress in all areas; getting closer to the wall with my wall walks, jumping over some obstacles for both my lateral and forward jumping and doing the 16" wall jump. 

Last night I looked at my bed and wondered if I could jump that.  I had a couple of failed attempts and then on the third go I nailed it.  To see if I didn't fluke it I tried again and lo and behold the jump stuck again.  I then called out for Missy T to show her (she is a box jump queen) and she was excited as I was when I showed her.

Fast forward to this morning at the gym when I decided to try to jump the 12" box and, nup, could not make it happen.  WTF?  I was doing 20" with ease last night and as soon as my box turns from a nice, soft mattress to a hard, wooden box my thinky brain takes over despite the height being reduced by 8".  I wish I could learn to turn off my head.

This morning we did 'Diane' which is a 21, 15, 9 doublet of deadlifts and HSPU.  I went in thinking I would do 50 kg deadies today until I warmed up and changed my mind to 40 kg and the handstand push ups were scaled to box pikes with an abmat.  I did the workout in 3:56 and was pretty happy with the time.  I was a little down on myself in the warm up as we had to do some handstand  holds and it was only me and another girl who couldn't do it.  I feel like such a lame-arse because I can't even kick into a handstand let alone hold myself there.  One day, Michelle, one day.

A Little Help From My Friends

I am so grateful for the people I have met throughout the years.  Yesterday I commented in one of my FB groups that I can't kick up into a handstand when one of the girls in the group suggested some progressions for me.  She is an ex-competitive gymnast and now a gymnastics coach and she was saying that there is no way she would get me to kick up facing away from the wall but instead have me facing the other way with my belly toward the wall and gradually work my way in building my upper body strength as I go.  She also said that this could take months (dammit!)  Nick had suggested this to me awhile ago but due to my lack of progress (I want it NOW!) I stopped doing it.  Ultimately it's back to just chipping away and making little improvements. *sigh*

Ironically, it was a gymnastics WOD yesterday and I admit that I got a little down when I watched the majority of the people kick up into handstands and I had to do box pike.  I find it incredibly frustrating as I am as strong as a lot of the girls that can handstand and I don't understand why they are able to do it and I can't.  Must. Stop. Comparing!

And to top off the week, today was seated box jumps.  Again it was hard not to get disheartened with my inability to jump higher than a few plates as everyone around me were jumping onto 24" boxes and higher but, again, I'm chipping away at my fears and while progress is slow, I'm getting there.  As I said to my training partner, I don't want to be a rockstar I just want to be able to be able to do some of the WODs as prescribed.

A Wise Man

I have been venting to my hubby about my lack of progress.  I was saying to him that we had a chance to work on our weaknesses last week and because I have so many weaknesses I spent most of the time wandering around trying to figure out what I should work on first.  He looked at me and said that I need to pick one and not try and be good at everything at once.  He is a wise man.  The problem with Crossfit is that it is highly variable, I might work on a skill one week and then not do it again for weeks and then I have to learn it again.

Hubs is a sportsman.  He plays cricket, touch football and golf.  Like most people who play sport, he has training for cricket.  He goes down to the nets and will hit ball after ball, bowl for other people and do fielding drills.  He has gotten to be a competent cricket player by practise.  Likewise with the girls at dancing, they do barre work, floor work and amalgamations so when it comes time to learn a dance for concert or competition they have it down pat.

One of my problems is that I start to work on a skill, get frustrated and give up.  The other is that I don't ask for help.  I try to figure it out on my own which then leads to back to the first problem.  I was reading in The Box Magazine about handstanding walking.  Obviously, I'm waaaaay off handstanding walking but the first progression they suggested was the tripod headstand to gain confidence in being upside down.  I was trying and failing at these at home last night when Mal walked in.  As usual, I stopped what I was doing as I didn't want him to see me.  He eventually talked me into having a go and he pointed out that my hands were in the wrong position which is why I was struggling.  Once I put my hands in the correct spot I managed to balance on my head with my knees on my triceps but wasn't quite game enough to extend my legs.  Mal got me to repeat it a few times to ensure that I 'got it'.  Normally, once I have some success I finish up without cementing it in my brain.

I have to accept that I need help and someone like Mal can look at what I'm doing and come up with a correction.  I also need to realise that it will take me smaller baby steps than other people to get to where I want to go and if that means I can only work on one thing at a time then that's okay.  It's better that then trying to work on half a dozen things and not progressing at any of them.  I WILL get there, it may take me longer, but I will do it!

The Grinder

I recently saw this definition on The Box Magazine:

"By definition, a Grinder is a kitchen device for grinding food, a sharpener of tools or a person or thing that grinds. I feel like the last two parts of this are the ones that apply the most to me. As I train, I am sharpening my tool (overall health and body) and while doing so, I definitely have to grind it out."

This describes me to a T, I'm no Annie Thorisdottir or Camille Leblanc-Bazinet but I'm there everyday grinding it out.  My improvements are small, most probably insignificant to some, but each day I'm getting a little better whether it be in numbers or technique.

Yesterday was overhead squat day which is a movement that I continue to struggle with but I continue to chip away and while my weights are incredibly light (my 1RM is 20 kg) I felt like I was making some headway with the movement.  We then moved onto squat snatch practice and while I have the broomstick down pat I couldn't get into the squat when I was under load, even at 10 kg.  I went home and continued to practice with my broomstick and I will try again at home with my lighter bar.

Last night as I was driving home from the gym I was reflecting on the workout.  Normally I get quite disappointed in myself when I have problems with a movement but I didn't feel like that at all, I was proud of the fact that I kept trying to get it right.

Goals - How I'm Going

Due to illness I haven't had too many opportunities to work on my goals in the last week.  Our WOD today is to work on our goals and I have to decide what I'll work on tonight. Here is an update of how I'm going:

• Box jumps - I'm still yet to jump onto the box without holding onto something.  We have overhead squats tonight so I'm not sure if I will work on these as my legs may be fatigued.
• Pull ups - I got 3 unbroken kipping pull ups out last week.  Tonight's WOD includes 3 rounds of 15 pull ups ... maybe not the best time to try for 5 unassisted pull ups after finishing my workout.
• Handstands - I haven't had the energy or the time to play with these but I would rather do them in the privacy of my home.
• Double Unders - As I said the other day I have achieved this goal and have upped the ante to 15.
• Rowing - I haven't rowed in a few weeks.  Maybe I should do this one tonight.

Holidays and Stuff

I have been on holidays for the last week.  It has been nice to just chill out with the girls at home and get some things done.  I bought the girls some desks and new bookshelves and have moved around their rooms a little which has been a little painful but it has given us a chance to have a clean out.

I'm enjoying being able to get to CrossFit everyday as well as my PT sessions with Jardan.  I have really noticed an improvement and have hit some PBs along the way.  I have been trying to eliminate the "c" word from my vocabulary ... yep, the "can't" word ... but it makes an appearance every now and then.  Today was a gymnastics WOD and my little conditioned brain went into overdrive, filling my head with the fact that I have never been good at gymnastics and therefore I wouldn't be able to do it.  When it came time to do 'walking dips' where you push yourself onto even bars, dip, walk with your hands to the end of the bar, dip and walk back, my mind went "yeah, nah!"  I didn't even attempt it as I was flat out just holding myself up on the darn bars.  After the class I went home disappointed that I didn't even try and I had let myself down.

Now that I have had time to process it, I realise that it was a pretty advanced move and, like so many things, as I learn more of the skills required I will do improve next time and considering I was struggling to hold myself in one place I shouldn't feel bad about not being able to do the next progression ... I left my ego at the door and conceded that I was unable to do it and there is no shame in doing that.

Goats

GOAT: A movement or lift that you just plain suck at. Something you dread coming up in a workout because you either suck at it, hate it or both. Common goats include double unders, muscle ups, running and handstand push ups. We all should be working on our goats, constantly. taken from http://crossfitelysium.com

I have lots of goats.  I recently read in a blog somewhere that the writer had so many goats that they had a herd of them.  Yep, that's me!  In the past, I avoided a few workouts as they had exercises that I hated.  I skipped ones with box jumps and one's that had a lot of running because I didn't want to suck.  Yesterday's workout was one of those.  Every element was my goat ...

Partner Wod to Kick off the new Year

In Partners

For Time:

2000m Row (total) (Groan!)

13 Burpee Box Jumps (Each) (Burpees + box jumps! Really??)

200 Double Unders (total) (Sigh!)

13 Wall Balls 10kg/6kg (Each) (Ewww!)

200 Double Unders (total) (Again?)

13 Burpee Box Jumps 24″/20″ (Each) (Honestly, who would put these 2 together?)

2000m Run (total) (*$#@!)

 

I tried to talk myself out of going.  I had planned on going to the morning session but suddenly my mountain of washing had to be folded and then Missy T got sick.  My parent's were coming over in the evening for dinner so I could have used that as a reason to not go but, no, off I went.

It was as tough as it looked and I was lucky to be partnered with an energiser bunny who refused to let me walk when I wanted.  She pushed me on and I was pleased with the fact that I moved up to 4 kg wall balls, I got a few double unders in a row and I did full burpees rather than knee burpees and chose to jump onto a plate instead of doing step ups.  I'm slowly chipping away at my goats and am seeing some progress and at the end of the day that's what it's all about.