Struggle Street

I'm finding things a bit tough at the moment, I didn't come back from my week holiday feeling refreshed and keen to get back into things ... quite the opposite really ... I'm lacking strength and cardio fitness, I feel like a bloated whale which is supported by the fact that my work pants are too tight.  With all that in mind, it's time to knuckle down with my nutrition and to increase my water intake ... not so much to lose weight but to help me with my performance in the gym, I'm tired of feeling flat and weak.

Yesterday I Climbed A Mountain

Our local ASN (Australian Sports Nutrition) shop held a fundraiser for the Royal Brisbane Children's Hospital on the weekend and my friend, Jo, and I decided to take part.  All we had to do was climb a mountain!  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that as a local I have never done this walk but I guess there was no time like the present.

Here is a little blurb from the Gladstone Council website:

Mt Larcom Trail
As the name suggests, the Mt Larcom trail scales the mountain, providing a challenging track but offering 360 degree views of the Gladstone area and harbour at the top. On a clear day the island reef is visible to the east and Rockhampton to the north. The trail winds through eucalypt forest and grass trees and is an ideal training track for bushwalking and hiking.

It was a gorgeous day with perfect weather for bushwalking with a max temperature in the low 20's.  Overall the walk/climb took us around 3 hours (including a bit of time at the top for a re-feed and photos).  I found it quite challenging but not from a fitness perspective but rather a fear of heights and walking on uneven, gravelly road; particularly on the decent (I ended up on my butt more than once).  I had to overcome those fears on our last little climb to the very top but I'm glad I fought those inner voices to get up there to see the magnificent view.  I was also relieved that several other people were in the same predicament as me.  One lady asked if she could go down with us as she was terrified and she knew we would take our time and if it meant sliding down on our butts we did that.

I was exhausted last night and am sporting blisters on both of my big toes but apart from that I have recovered quite well.  I thought, for sure, I would have sore legs today.

I know quite a few people who do this track fairly regularly but at this point I have no desire to do it again.  I feel like I ticked that off my bucket list with no need to revisit it.  Mind you, I have been saying that if I were to do it again I would be more confident in my abilities and perhaps not be as frightened (and maybe enjoy the actual walk a bit more).  I grow weary of having to battle my confidence issues ... at what point am I going to realise that I'm capable of more than I realise?

What Goes Up Must Come Down

I was coming off my high from yesterday's workout, everything was peachy and I was starting to think that I was finally finding my groove with this whole CrossFit gig.  And then the 13.5 Open workout was posted ... yes, we were going to revisit that WOD.  I was hoping never to see that one again or not for a long, long time.  I have to admit I felt sick at the thought.  It was only just over a month ago that we did this one and the pain was fresh in my memory.  I thought about chucking a sickie but then I thought it might give me a chance to redeem myself because last time Sean tried to talk me into a certain scaling and I dug my heels in only to come up short.  Rule #2: The coach is always right.

The workout is so simple: 15 thrusters, 15 pull ups, AMRAP.  If you get 90 reps (3 rounds) done in 4 minutes you get to do another 4 minutes, if you can't, you stop.  Our mission today was to do the 90 reps and if we didn't we had to get on the rower for a 2 km row.

I decided to scale the hell out of it and chose to do 10 kg thrusters (which is the lightest bar) and jumping pull ups.  My final score was 86!!! I was 4 fkn reps short!!!  I was upset and cranky at myself.  I was disappointed because short of going to dumbbells I couldn't scale any further and I still didn't make the grade.  So yet again I'm picking myself up and dusting myself off.  I think that's the thing with CrossFit ... just when you think you are going alright there's a workout that knocks you on your butt and reminds you that you are nowhere near the fittest you can be but I have just enough mongrel in me to go back tomorrow and the next day and the day after that and the next time this workout comes up I know I'll get the 90 reps out and then some!

Today I Did Something Stupid

I decided to sign up for the Crossfit Games Open.  Our coach had invited everyone to sign up and after 'talking' to a few people on my FB groups I sort of thought why not!  There are several reasons for not doing it like not being able to jump higher than 8 inches, or tripping over the rope during double unders (hello ... I managed to bruise my knuckles in a failed double under attempt.  Who does that??)  But then I thought in the spirit of CrossFit it's about progress not perfection.

It took me awhile to 'own up' to my affiliate as I didn't want the elite athletes at my box to know that I signed up.  I fear that they will laugh at me for having the audacity.  I am nowhere near the "fittest on earth" so who am I to think I can mix it with the big guns?  This took me back to my bodybuilding time when I told noone at my gym that I was looking at competing for much the same reasons.  It worked against me as I missed out on some much needed support (and posing practice!) So I shared on Facebook and have linked my competition page to CrossFit Gladstone.  The thing is everyone at CFG is fantastic and are always helping me with my form or other hints to make me better and I seriously doubt they would think anything negative about someone like myself joining in.  What do I have to lose?

That said, it's time for me to work on some of many weaknesses!

White Girls Can't Jump

“Josh”

21 Over-Head Squats 42.5kg

42 Pull Ups

15 Over-Head Squats 42.5kg

30 Pull ups

9 Over-Head Squats 42.5kg

18 Pull Ups

This was yesterday's workout.  I have to admit being a little concerned about this one as there was a lot of overhead work and therefore pressure on my traps but I went in knowing that I would have to modify.  Sean, the head coach, prefers people to have the appropriate strength and mobility for OH squats so we were split up into those who have been trained and are able to do them and the rest of us did front squats.  My biggest concern here was doing the clean with a 15 kg bar but it felt pretty good.  It helped that we were only doing 3 in the whole workout.

The next issue was the pullups.  I attempted a couple of jumping pullups but seeing as there was a total of 90 of them in the entire workout I didn't want to push it so asked for a modification.  I learnt a valuable lesson, don't ask for modifications as you get something that hurts twice as much.  My modification was lateral burpees (I think I would have preferred to bust my stitches doing pullups!)  Yep, a burpee, jump laterally over the bar, another burpee and jump the other way.  Yeah, nah ... that wasn't going to happen!



So I jumped over a plate instead.  Like box jumps I just can't seem to get both feet to jump at once and instead did 'ice-skaters' over the plate instead.  I swear I must be the most uncoordinated person in the world!  I wonder if the coaches cringe when I walk in the room ... I hope they see it as a challenge.  LOL!

Today's WOD has more burpee jumps, this time it's jumping over the bar front on rather than lateral.  Damn it!

Conquering Fears

Or at least I'm trying to.

As I have said in the past, the thing I struggle with most at CF is the dreaded box jump.  It comes up so often in our workouts and I have had enough of having to modify my training due to the fact that I'm afraid of hurting myself.  I don't believe I have that explosive power required to jump and if I don't believe in myself of course it will never happen.  I spent Sunday afternoon practicing on my step which is 6".  I started with my usual 1-2 skip ... it's like there's a part in my brain that says if I leave one foot down, if I trip I will be okay .... eventually I was jumping with 2 feet together.  I then moved to a step outside which is 8", again starting with the skipping motion but getting to the point of jumping properly.  Right-o, I had made a start to getting over this fear.

Monday is Crossfit day.  I checked the WOD and it consisted of 7 x 5 sumo deadlift high pulls and then seated box jumps.  This is where you start sitting on a box and then jump onto another box.  The fact that you are sitting gives you more power and the ability to jump higher.  I was nervous but felt like I need to start to deal with this.

I started to chicken out as soon as I saw the 20" box come out and, thankfully, there is another girl who does step ups.  I thought I was the only one there who couldn't jump!  We asked what we could do instead.  Sean, the head coach, asked both of us if we were interested in using today as a confidence building exercise and use the plate weights to start off.  The other girl wasn't so sure but I was pretty keen ... today was the day to do this!  We stacked a couple of 25 kg plates and jumped on those.  I think it was about the same height as I was doing at home and I landed them. J (my box jump partner) stacked another and I did the old skippy thing I do ... I just couldn't get both feet to move at once.  She aced it and added more while I stuck to the lower height.  It's funny as we were discussing it and she is afraid of the box so jumping the height isn't an issue whereas I'm afraid of the height ... it doesn't matter what I'm jumping onto.

As we were jumping onto our little weights I was watching the others jumping onto their boxes stacked with weights as well.  Some of the girls were jumping well over 30" and here's me struggling to jump a few weights.  I felt like such a numpty and have to admit I went home feeling a little deflated.

I have to take note of the advice I give to my kids and remember that I will only get better with practice and if I have to take it really slowly to build my confidence then so be it.  Next time box jumps come up I will see if I can do them with the stacked weights again because I am not going to improve while I continue to do step ups and I will try and fit in some practice a couple of times a week.  I'm not going to let it beat me!

Still No Coffee

Day 5 of no coffee and I haven't suffered any withdrawals.  The only thing I've noticed is that I'm really hungry, it's like those extra calories from a coffee topped my belly up.  I also found that I started looking through the pantry yesterday for something to eat (boredom eating) whereas normally I would make myself a cuppa.  Tea just doesn't fill that hole in my tummy.  I'm actually quite surprised at how easy it has been to give up but I think I like the process of having a cuppa; it's the fact that I sit down and read the paper, Facebook, catch up with friends or simply sit on the veranda and watch the world go by.  I'm not one to have a cuppa sitting on the bench, taking the occasional sip while I rush around getting the kids ready for school or have one in the car on the way to work (that's my green tea).  I associate coffee with downtime which I'm sure most people do.  In saying that though, I do the same with a cup of tea.  It will be interesting to see how the rest of this month pans out.

No Coffee November

A couple of peeps have started a challenge this month which is not having any chocolate for this month.  Chocolate isn't such a big issue for me but I decided to join in and added my own challenge which is not having any coffee for November.

I don't drink an awful lot of coffee; only about 2 - 3 and sometimes a smidge more on a bad day, but add to the mix my green tea and the occasional cup of Earl Grey or Chai tea I think my caffeine intake is more than I should be having.  The fact that I have starting shaking again recently is a pretty good sign too.  Now, I shake at the best of times as does my mother, sister and a few other rellies but I noticed when I eat 'clean' (by clean I mean largely unprocessed foods and refined carbs) my shaking is almost non-existent.  My food hasn't changed too much but my caffeine intake has, particularly when you take into account the  fact that I have 2 cups of coffee and a cup of tea before 10 am it is no wonder I have the jitters.  I also think I can do without that teaspoon of sugar each time I have a coffee as well.

I am on Day 2 and I haven't noticed any withdrawal symptoms yet.  Maybe it's because I'm still drinking green tea so am still getting a caffeine hit.  Mind you, I was at home with Moo yesterday so work today will be interesting ... I'll have to figure another way to get over that 3 pm slump.

Photo a Day

I might give this a go ... we'll see how we go.

Nailin' November

I, too, have been inspired by Liz's blog and have joined decided to 'Nail November.' This month I'm going to say a big fat NO to:

• Nibbling when I get home from work and after dinner.
• Snacking on weekends
• Wasting time, particularly on Facebook etc. I'm going to limit myself to once per day
• Dogging it with regard to my training. My intensity has slackened off a little in the last couple of weeks, time to pick it up again.
• Late nights.

I think that should about do it.

Up and At 'Em

I have recovered quite well from the bug and was back training yesterday. This week's goal is to get into the 47s which I am reasonably confident in achieving as long as I keep eating clean and training hard. Funny how the fear of getting up on stage in an itty-bitty bikini scares you into declining junk food and working out even when you don't really feel like it. My plan is to try and fit in as much incidental exercise as I can which will include getting up away from my desk as much as I can. Mind you, the many trips to the upstairs toilet has got to burn some calories.

I have been starting work early the last couple of days and yesterday the girls came with me while I took Mossy for a walk in the afternoon instead of the usual a.m. walk. While my heartrate didn't get up that high I really enjoyed that precious time with my kids. We spent the time chatting away about their day and even got into religion and other subjects. As a parent that works fulltime I often fall into the trap of not having the time to really talk and listen to them. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did.

Not much else to report, Vera the Ab Vein has popped up again which is both exciting and just a little bit freaky. Also, I will be taking progress pics and taking measurements on the weekend to mark the end of the Tom Venuto Challenge. My Body Fat % will be done tomorrow at the gym. It should be interesting to see the improvement there.

A Confession

The last week saw me having a couple of meltdowns and very nearly throwing in the towel. The weight just doesn't seem to be shifting and every morning I'm faced with the disappointment of not seeing that number drop. I know why, but sometimes it takes someone else to say it (thanks Liz!) It is not the training as I have been making my sessions count. Blind Freddy could see it comes down to nutrition but I have been trying to kid myself into thinking otherwise. I haven't been logging my food on the weekends because, you know, if you don't log it it didn't happen. I know, I know! That's up there with sucking your tummy in when you hop on the scales.

At the moment, moderation is not an option. After 6 weeks, I can slip a little treat here and there and I know I can get away with it - hell, I have been doing that for the last 6 months - but for now I have to count calories and log all my food and then the results will come.

Weekly Wrap up

This week has been a hard slog. I've had PMT, battling bloating, chocolate cravings and fatigue. These are the weeks that I would much rather curl up in a ball and shut the world out but instead I ticked the boxes and got everything done. Okay, I did have a few Pods Missy T had left over from when we went to the movies on Saturday but overall food has been okay and training has been done. To me, these are the times that count. It's easy to go hard when everything is going great but getting on with the job at hand when motivation is low is when it matters. Besides, I always feel great after a workout so pushing myself even though I don't want to is worth it.

Update

Things have been going fairly well this week. I'm enjoying my 3 day split with the weights and have been lucky enough to have a slight drop in the scales today. I feel like I could have increased my weights so have made a mental note to do so next week. I have a nasty little legs sesh planned for tonight and can expect I'll be walking around like an old granny tomorrow. Hopefully Body Balance afterwards will help alleviate some of the pain.

I'm really enjoying this challenge, there is no focus on a particular type of training or diet, whatever works for you and your lifestyle. Our team is very supportive of each other which is lovely. I love being around like-minded people.

Of course, going straight from one challenge to another one I have found myself reflecting on the 12wbt some more. I think the highlight for me was the pre-season tasks and one of the best of these was the 'Get Real' task. Excuses for not training are split into 3 categories, the first is Internal Excuses, you know when you talk yourself out of training because you aren't 'motivated' or too tired . The second is External Excuses that are within my control like it's too cold/rainy or I'm too busy. Last but not least is the External Excuses that are out of my control like sick children or having to work overtime. We then had to come up with solutions for each excuse that we typically use, obviously there is not a lot you can do about the last category. I've had a few moments over the last week where I would have normally blown off training altogether but have managed to come with a solution. As Mish said, "No excuses!"

BOOOORRRRRIIIINNG

I found this yesterday when I was tidying up the lounge room. It is such a hard life for a kid whose mum trains at home, isn't it? I usually try to avoid training when Mal and the kids are around as they are so distracting. If I don't have kids asking me for snacks or to help them with something I have Mal mimicking the instructor on the DVD, asking me if I can feel the burn etc (he is sooooo hilarious - NOT). Missy T was sitting there quietly yesterday drawing which was nice but then I found what she was drawing. I cracked up laughing when I saw it.

The first week of the BFFM challenge has gone quite well. After some gentle nudging from Liz I have made the decision to aim to compete in September and will use this challenge as my comp prep. I have my work cut out for me but I am pumped to get back on stage.

Where to from here?

I am pretty excited about joining the A-Team in Tom Venuto's Burn The Fat Summer Challenge. I am pumped about joining a team for a challenge as I have always done things pretty much on my own or with the help of an online trainer and while this is still virtual it is awesome to have a group of like-minded people to have your back. Looking forward to the next stage of my fitness journey.