Monday, March 10, 2014

A Big, Fat Zero

That was my score in 14.2.  Apparently I was so close to getting depth in my squat but didn't quite make it.  I'm not going to pretend, I'm disappointed .... really disappointed.  Since the announcement of the WOD on Friday I have been battling those little voices that constantly tell me that I 'suck', why should I even bother doing this, why even Crossfit at all, blah, blah, blah.

All I needed was 1 rep of hitting hip crease below knee crease while holding 30 kg overhead.  It was 5 kg over my 1 RM but I was hoping to pull something out of the hat.  I had one of the guys giving me some advice and he also helped me with my mobility.  I'm grateful that he spent the time to give me the best chance of getting the rep but despite all my efforts I was unable to squat the weight in the 3 mins.

Since then I have had a whole range of emotions.  I got cranky and swore like a wharfie, I've cried and wallowed in self-pity, I thought about cancelling my membership and going back to training in my little home gym before finally deciding to work on my mobility and put 30 kg OHS on my list of goals.

The thought went through my head of why did I sign up for the Open when I knew that I was going to fail at some point.  I knew that there was going to be a weight that I wouldn't be able to lift.  Basically I was wasting my $20.  I signed up because I didn't want to say, "what if?"

If I hadn't registered I wouldn't have even attempted to squat 30 kg.  I would have scaled and I would have been left wondering if I could do it.  Woulda, shoulda, coulda ... didn't!  At least I know now that I am so close to 30 kg and I know what I have to do to get there.  I know I was only an inch or so from getting a good rep and flexibility is something that I can continue to work on and get better at.

Will I register next year?  I think I will.  Although it is disappointing to be booted out this early, I love the vibe of the Open and I love trying RXD even if it means failing.
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