I am continuing to let a few things get to me this week but am trying to work through it. The issue is that I wanted to give this round a red hot go. I know it may not be very 'politically correct' but I was aiming for a top 3 finish in the L&S. My thought process was that if I set myself a goal like that I would do everything I had to succeed. The reality is that the last 2 winners of this category (who looked fantastic, by the way) lost 8 kg and 11 kg and I have felt that if I had any chance of being in the winner's circle I would have to drop weight. This month my weight has been up and down and as at the end of week 4, which is milestone week where we have to do measurements and our fitness test, I am only 100 g down from the start of the round. Needless to say I was disappointed and the competition side of the 12wbt has gotten to me (AGAIN!) I started to doubt the program and it's ability to deliver results.
I did my measurements last night as well and was also disappointed in them until I accumulated the results. While a couple of cms here and there don't look fantastic but when I added them together I have lost 9 cm overall and gained 0.5 cm on each bicep. Once I put it into perspective I realised that my results aren't too bad.
I guess I have set high expectations of myself. I know it is highly likely I won't be in the top 3 as there are so many people in the program that will have a lot bigger transformations. There are people who have never set foot in a gym so their improvements are so much greater. I think it is time to stop worrying about the competition and just be the best version of me.