Friday, June 14, 2013

Jac, Jac, Jackie!

Why is it I always start singing this song when the benchmark workout Jackie comes up?  Here is Jackie:

For Time:
Row 1000m
50 Thrusters 20kg/15kg
30 Pull Ups
This is one that I have done before so I knew what to expect from it but that didn't make it any easier.  My previous time was 13:22 and my scaling for the pull ups was using the green band.  I initially thought to attempt the orange band but Sean suggested the purple instead and as we know, the coach is always right ;-)
The workout was done in waves as we have 4 rowers and as I was waiting for my time to start I heard that we had a 10 minute cut off and if we didn't make it our punishment was a 2 km row.  I think that's when my panic set in but I had already committed myself to my options.  I tried to stay consistent on the rower.  I know I'm not fast but if I could stick to the same speed instead of dying in the arse in the second 500m I may be in with a chance. The other girls completed their row well before me and I felt like that was a nail in my coffin.  I apologised to the girl waiting for my rower to be free as I held her up too.
I then started on the thrusters.  I hadn't recovered from the row and was feeling a little light headed.  I struggled to get the first 10 - 15 thrusters out and that's when the meltdown happened.  I dropped the bar and started to cry.  I was tired and out of breath, I couldn't see the end of the thrusters ... I had so far to go.  Luckily, one of the coaches was there and talked me through it.  I picked up the bar and continued on.  I would let out a sob every lift but I eventually got through them all.
I moved onto the pull ups and had to break them down as well but I tried to focus on getting my kip right to try and make it easier.  They weren't as bad as the thrusters as there was only 30 of them.
My time was 12:57 so I beat my previous time by 25 seconds with a harder pull up option but it wasn't recorded as I was over the 10 minutes ... instead I get a CO beside my name.  That really stuck in my craw because I have shown progress and instead of celebrating I feel like I failed.  But I do understand the reasoning behind having a cut off.  It's to get us to not rest, to push through the pain barrier and become fitter and stronger but I think last night it worked against me and just made me panic and was part of the reason I fell apart.  The ironic part is I may have made it under the cut off if I didn't have the meltdown.  I was in no state physically or mentally to do the 2 km row punishment and luckily we ran out of time.  I personally hate the idea of getting punished for not making a cut off, I do understand it's incentive to get it completed within a certain time limit, but I always try my hardest and I don't like being punished for not quite making it.
I am taking some positives away from the workout.  Despite my mind telling me to quit I kept going and completed the workout.  I have shown progress by improving my time and scaling options.  I kept the same pace during my rowing and while I'm slower than most other people at the gym it's faster than I used to go therefore I'm improving in that area as well.  I got a PB for my thrusters in the warm up to the actual workout and could have gone heavier but didn't want to wear myself out.  As you can see, there are lots of good things that came out of the WOD last night and I think that sometimes it's the crappy workouts that you learn the most about yourself.
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