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Sunday, August 03, 2014

The Universe is Talking to Me

And I know I should listen!  This week I have been inundated with articles shared on FB regarding overtraining and recovery.  It has come at a time when I'm tired and am going backward in my training.  I know I should rest or deload but there is this little part of me that thinks that I'm just lazy and not trying hard enough.  I can see the other girls at the gym improving and I'm stagnate ... I need to do more, to work harder, rest days are for the uncommitted.

I love Crossfit, it's my happy place.  A friend from work just started the beginner classes and she commented that I look so tired at work but at the gym I'm animated and alive.  I'm happy at the gym and I can't contemplate not going 6 days a week ... what else would I have to look forward to each day?

The downside of Crossfit is the need to be and do more.  We celebrate high attendance and cheer when people get PRs.  I get sucked into that way of thinking.  When I did weightlifting I was doing that as well as the WOD plus I threw in a mobility class and pilates to top it off.  I was top attendee for the week, I was also exhausted and ended up sick the following week.  Another week I did a double class and pilates.  Why?  Because a few other people were doing it and that both the WODs looked like fun.  I had a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out) and maybe a dash of wanting to be a 'bad ass' by being able to do several workouts in a day.  Superwoman complex much? 

I get depressed when we have a 1RM day and I don't get a PB.  I spend hours going over it in my mind trying to think of what I have to do to overcome such failure.  I overthink everything instead of allowing my body to do what it needs naturally, I force myself with ugly lifts to try and keep up with the pack.  Is it because everyone loves a winner?

The universe is telling me to slow down, to look after myself.  I forced myself to go to bed early Thursday night and I slept in the following day.  I went to the gym in the afternoon and had the best workout I've had all week.  There's something in that.

The universe is telling me to stop with the craziness.  To look after myself.  I have nothing to prove, I'm not an elite athlete who is training for a competition ... I'm training for life.
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